(no subject)

 

“If you like it, and you keep practicing, maybe you can be my alternative!” Anne gives Santana a big thumbs up. 

“Thanks, but no thanks, Anna. I want to be a C/Katherine. Aragon sings in spanish. And did you see K Howard’s performance?” 

As Anne of Cleves melts into her dressing room vanity in a wave of dramatic depression, Christine hops around her energetically, trying to raise her aunt from her depression— and keep her from smudging her makeup before it’s sealed. “I’ll be your alternate, Anne! You’re my favorite Queen!” 

—— 

She hadn’t missed out on too much, in the weeks she was gone. Sure, two months is a long time to be missing from a tour, but she’d made it to opening night at least. She was right— those bitches had replaced her, but they were all happy to see the real Anna von Kleve. And after Anna looked the girl who had been playing her over, she had huffed, and announced “She doesn’t look a thing like my picture!” 

They forgave her, even after she sent the poor replacement Anne of Cleves off in tears. How could they not? They were one of a kind, no category. They had spent too many years, lost in his story. And now-- here they were again. Six. So what if Anna had a new, weird, eccentric family that she brought along to shows, and was clingier than they remembered? She was still Anne of Cleves, who had suffered the same husband as the rest of them. And more importantly, she was still loud, boisterous, cracking jokes, singing opera, always loving, and-- she could still get down. 

In a twist of irony, the alternate that Anne sent away crying when she replaced her, looked almost exactly like the portrait. It was uncanny. Anne claims she never saw it, but she had brought Christine along, who still whispers in shock about the entire thing. Yeah, sure, Anne looks like the picture, except for, maybe just a little off—- she’s too polite to say anything, but when Mephisto asked her about it, she caved. “What was different about them?” He asks. Christine shakes her head, not wanting to betray Anna’s trust, but also--- “I think-- the hands?” 

-----

There are always free tickets to go around. Anna has to hire extra help at The Castle, because of how often she’s out-- and it’s not like she can have Christine cover on her own. Christine’s with her at almost every show anyway, soaking up as much of the stage if she can. A pop concert’s not quite what she has in mind for her future, but if she ignores what she knows of Anna for a few minutes, she can almost pretend this is a Broadway extravaganza. It’s a taste of what’s waiting for her, and Anna’s more than happy to accommodate the young performer. She and Santana are such common fixtures backstage that once, a new, confused hairstylist tries to pull Christine away for space buns, instead of Anne B. She’s rescued last minute by the real Boelyn-- exactly the same height as Christine, who gasps, and swats at the hairdresser’s hand. “Racist hairdresser! That’s not the woman that tore England from the church!” But she winks at Christine, who feels strangely awed. 

It’s not unusual for Parr to sweep in with snacks or scholarship information for the girls, or for Aragon to include them on her latest very dramatic, very important news -- normally about what nonsense the church is getting into. K Howard calls them to sit on either side of her while her perfect high-ponytail is gathered, enjoying the company of other girls her age for once, prattling on about something that none of the other Queens can even dream of understanding (except Boelyn maybe, but she plays it cool, disinterested and tapping on her phone-- the only hint that she’s listening, a loud laugh timed in a way that it can’t be for anything except what they’re talking about). Jane’s there to oversee it all, and make sure nothing too uncouth happens -- that the other queens watch their language, that everyone’s hydrated and sleeping well, and always inquiring genuinely about how everyone’s mothers and significant others are doing. 

After the first few performances, Anne realizes something is missing and arranges for tickets and a place backstage for Shilo. She intends to make good on her offer to make her a Lady in Waiting, and sets her up with music lessons with Joan. K and Santana get ahold of poor Shilo one night, and when they return her to the dressing room, she’s been dolled up like a total badass, plus glitter, and she’s beaming. Anna almost cries at how happy she looks, and Jane, overcome with maternal emotions for no reason other than being Jane, joins Anna in hugging Shilo and trying not to cry. 

Mephisto’s the one who’s seen the show the most times outside of the teens. He says he’s there to make sure the teens get home, but Anna catches him cheering for her more than once. He only makes the mistake of coming backstage once, all five other queens instantly mobbing the poor man, wanting to know what kind of a guy Anne of Cleves was living with. There’s more than one ‘Tall, Dark, and Steamy’ comment, and he barely makes it out of there, but not before snapping “She does not live with me!” But before he slams the dressing room door shut, he has the misfortune of hearing laughter, smacking kissing noises as at least one queen blows him a kiss, and “Wow Anna, I need to get me one of those.” and “Did you see--- Ass better than Henry’s!” 

Perhaps as part of Stephen’s punishment for murdering them all that one time, the next time he comes, he brings Stephen, and sends him backstage instead. The scene’s pretty similar, except poor Stephen doesn’t get to escape. “Two of them! Who else are you living with, Anna?” Catherine whoops, and K just laughs-- if it’s at Anna, at Stephen, or if she’s just laughing because Santana is is anyone’s guess. “We never thought you had it in you. Literally. Never thought it.” She quips finally, and the other Anne comes to her defense. “Oh, guys, don’t be so mean. Anna, I always believed in you. I mean, look at him. Total nerd!” Anna ends up being the one to kick him out at that point, announcing that they need to change, and he needs to go find Mephisto. 

When they finally convince Sigyn to leave her wife behind for a night out, she’s given the same treatment by Stephen and Mephisto. Here’s your backstage pass, go see Anne in her dressing room. Sigyn’s treated a little differently, though, when she walks through the door, and Anna flounces over to give her a hug, there’s silence. When Anna and Sigyn look at the other five, they’re all staring at her. “Damn, Anna--” Catherine mutters, and even Jane’s a little pink, as she mutters something about that explaining it, and a little out of character, it’s K and Boelyn that don’t totally lose their heads. “Katherine Howard, Fifth, and best looking wife!” K announces, reaching to shake hands and introduce herself, right as Boelyn’s introducing herself as “Anne Boelyn, Second and most important wife” and going in for the hand shake, too. Cathy Parr, for what it’s worth, looks ashamed of the rest of them. “Cathy Parr, sixth wife--- Anna, do you live with anyone else we need to meet?” Sigyn and Anna both look at each other, then Anna grins. “Not tonight.”

Because it’s not enough. She may have brought a good chunk of her friends and family to come see the show already, but there’s still people missing. And after checking the show’s schedule, she has a very good idea, one that’s going to take a lot of work to pull off. 

----- 

The first step is the hardest. Stephen and Anna spend a good hour picking an outfit for Mephisto that looks respectable, formal, and straight-laced. Stephen has to call in Christine and video chat both Claudine and Nana to dress Anna down enough to look less club-chic or Jojo Siwa but older and hot, and more “wealthy aunt who definitely visits a country club”. He coaches them both the entire drive to the facility where Riley was, rejects Anna’s suggestion that they just swing by the bank and get a bunch of cash she can “make it rain” with instead of writing a check, and finally, when they head in, despite himself, says a silent prayer for both this plan working out, and that the warden isn’t too shook by this. 

For what it’s worth, Anna plays her role of southern-belle wealthy country club aunt a little too well. While they discuss Riley’s progress, how wonderful this has been for her, the growth, the development, she’s swooning and flattering and charming like it’s her job to do so. Mephisto’s surprised he only has to keep her on script once or twice, when she gets carried away with an extra-dramatic storyline of her character’s backstory that has nothing to do with their conversation. She says she’d like to make a large donation to the facility, for their hard work-- and then, as they’re about to leave, drops that she only wishes her dearest niece could come see her perform on her birthday -- she misses her so very much, and poor Riley’s done so well--

When Riley sits in the visitors room ten minutes later, Anne’s grinning ear-to-ear, and Mephisto looks proud of himself. She feels sick looking at them. “Guys, what’s going on-- Dad, why’s Anna here instead of---” Anna bounces in her seat. “Your Birthday! We have a surprise for you-- we got a supervised visit home for you! And! It’s the night of my concert, And! Mephisto’s the supervision!” Riley somehow doesn’t feel better with this information-- even if it sounds like good news. It feels like it could go horribly wrong. But the way Anna’s getting-- there’s no telling her no. 

------

It’s easier after that. Which is funny, because it involves world-hopping. An invitation has to be dispatched to Angus’ world well in advance, so if he’s off on some adventure or flying into the sun, there’s time to get ahold of him. There are flights to be arranged for Nana and Claudine, and someone has to get over to Steven’s world to invite him, Spinel, and Squipinel, because like hell it’s getting to say she treated it any different. Richard, Roberta, and Red are all issued an invitation-- with enough time to corral a babysitter. Tickets are sent to Michael, Jermey, Squaro and three to Evan Hansen-- this one signed with a note from… Loki? Asking him to bring his mom. There’s even an invitation issued to Jonny, one to the LP, and Anne of Cleves, a devout Catholic, summons a demon in the middle of her club--- both to party for a while, and to give Beetlejuice the invitation he deserves, damnit. 

One Night Only --- lol jk i’ve been at this for months and will keep at it for months

Anna von Kleve, & five other queens in:
SIX , HERSTORY REMIX! 

March 23rd 

PRIVATE SHOW: Riley’s birthday/Opera House Reunion Concert

------ 

Anne of Cleves is blessed. She believed it when she was given a second chance at life. She believed it when she left the opera house with her friends by her side, alive. She believes it as she pulls a disguised Riley on stage and sings her Happy Birthday pre-megasix-- and knows it, when the rest of her guests are called up on stage for the megasix. She has them all here. Her family, her friends, her quirky robot acquaintances-- Evan Hansen and his very pretty mother, and her five queens.

This is all she needs. 

-----

Almost. There’s still something missing. A night later, Sigyn’s on the couch with Loki in the penthouse, showing her pictures of the show, when they hear Mephisto and Anna arguing in the next room over. “Anna. I am not--- no. No to the confetti and glitter. I draw a line.” “Fine.” She hisses back. “Just hold the spotlight and do the airhorns, ja?” There isn’t any more arguing. Instead, Mephisto comes in, with a ladder and a flashlight. Then Anna, wearing the same costume she wore the night that Loki met her-- except instead of ruby slippers, she’s got the sparkly boots that she always performs in. Then--- five more women. Then Shilo, with her keyboard, and then four more women, with instruments. 

Anna smiles at Loki. “You didn’t think I’d let you get away with not seeing the show, did you?” And then--- she whips around to Stephen, who is standing by the lightswitch, trying not to laugh as he dims the light. 

“And tonight, Loki---- We are!” Anna calls out, before six voices ring out in unison. 

“LIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEE” 

At the end of the show, Anna does without Mephisto’s help, and throws an entire container of confetti and glitter in the air. She, Boelyn, and Howard pose in it-- Aragon catches on a little too late, and Parr and Seymour both panic, mostly at Stephen and Mephisto’s reactions-- there’s cursing and fumbling, but it’s too late. 

The glitter never leaves.