in which evan hansen gets what he deserves: someone w a crush on his mom

[likemypicture]

 When Anna hasn’t been to the penthouse in a few days, they start to worry. The fact that she’s not answering her phone isn’t as worrying—- Anna basically uses it exclusively as a camera and tik tok machine. But her shifts at The Castle are all covered by someone else, and there’s a strange lack of boisterous laughter around. Thankfully, there are teenagers (now young adults) around to navigate snapchats find my friends feature, to track down Anna’s extravagant avatar on a map of the world. 

“Why is Anna at Evan Hansen’s house?” Stephen asks. This time, it’s Mephisto’s turn to give him a knowing smirk. 

——— 

It begins thanks to Richard, as much as Anna loathes to admit it. She knocks on Evan Hansen’s door, and is stunned when it’s opened by a woman she only knows from photographs. Heidi Hansen’s plea had moved Anna so deeply when she’d read the news clipping about him, that it’s jarring to see her in real life. She reminds Anna even more of Jane in person— with the blonde wavy hair, standing at a similar height, the way she wore a kind but tired smile, but was definitely still undeniably solid as stone. 

“... Can I help you?” Heidi asks, for the third time. Anna jolts back into reality. “Ja! Sorry! Is Evan Hansen home?” 

Heidi, who has now become doubly suspicious and protective of Evan, eyes this strange, small, sparkly woman with caution. “How do you know my son?” She asks, and Anna’s quick to wave a hand dismissively. “Oh! My cousin brought him home. You remember Richard, ja? I’m here to give him this.” 

Heidi does remember Richard— how could she forget? Even if she ignores the fact that he had been the hero to hthat brought her baby home to her, he had also been a very strange person. He looked nothing like the woman on her doorstep now, but they both were matching in terms of strangeness. And now that she thinks of it, he had mentioned a cousin in New York City, if she or Evan needed anything. “He’s out right now, but he should be home soon. Did you want to come in?” 

Anna doesn’t need to be asked twice. She flashes Heidi a bright smile, nods, and slips in past her. Once she’s inside, she makes a bee line for photos of baby Evan to coo at, and Heidi can only watch with that nervous ‘what the fuck have I done’ expression. 

When Evan stumbles in through the front door hours later, he’s surprised his mom isn’t waiting for him. Instead, she calls from the kitchen “Honey, Anna von Kleve’s here!” 

“....Who?” He calls back wearily, and Anna paws at Heidi’s arm before she can panic, whispering something at her. It doesn’t make sense, but Anna’s been kind of weirdly charming, so she calls out in a confused tone. “Queen…. Anna von Kleve?” 

Evan feels a single fear. When he rounds the corner into the kitchen, he feels two fears. Queen Anne is having coffee with his mom—- but she’s not sitting across from his mom like a normal human being. Instead, she’s pulled her seat around to sit beside his mom, and they’re leaning over a scrapbook together, looking at his baby photos together. Queen Anne’s arm even brushes against his mom’s arm when she reaches to hold out a gold embossed envelope to him, and he feels sick, angry, and confused at the same time. They aren’t doing anything weird, but he doesn’t like that one of those opera house people was so weirdly close to his mom. He doesn’t like that anyone is so weirdly close to his mom. 

Neither of them seem to notice, as Anna goes back to the album, laughing in delight— “You were so small Evan!” As Heidi turns the page, smiling up at her son. “It sounds like Richard has an invitation for you this summer.”  As he flips it open, he pales. Summer camp. Yay? 

—- 

Before Anna leaves, she passes her business card to Heidi, with its own flashy gold embossing. “You could use a break. Come to The Castle sometime. Bring Evan too, he can hang out with Christine or Shilo backstage or in the apartment. Drinks on me!” 

——-

On the ride back to New York City, Anna’s hands tremble. She pulls her phone out, and texts the only person she thinks can help her in this situation 

sos how do i know if my type is blonde busty moms?????? 

At home, Mephisto spits out his drink.